I want to start by introducing myself and tell you a little bit about my story. Well I was born as a beautiful brunette, black eyed, 6 lb baby...OK sorry I wont go back that far. For as long as I can remember I have been overweight, big boned, chubby, fat and obese. However you want to call it, I've been called it all. I have always tried to carry myself with the up most of confidence. I've always tried to dress my best for my weight, look cute and put together. I've always loved fashion so this was a task that although was never easy finding clothes to fit, I loved it.

I am only 27 but I am definitely one of those people that have tried literally EVERY single diet out there. Each and every time I started a new one I was thinking this is it. This is the one that will work and I'll loose the weight and then maintain it and just be NORMAL. Normal and healthy. I'll be able to go to the gym and workout like everyone else and not feel like every single person is looking at me thinking look at what that fatty is doing here. While that may seem harsh I am not naive enough to think that people don't talk about me and my weight. A couple of years ago I tried a low carb diet. It was hard and very limiting but I was told by my doctor that my pancreas didn't produce enough insulin in order to properly break down carbohydrates, so it would be best if I lived without them. It was one of the main reasons I was constantly gaining weight while I had been eating whole grains and high fiber. As always I had lost weight on this diet and felt like I was on top of the world. I had a renewed self confidence and felt it radiating off of me. I went to the gym and felt good and while I knew I still wanted to loose alot more weight I felt better than I ever had before. I was going out with my friends more and I wasn't avoiding social functions like I normally do when I have extra weight on. I came off the diet after loosing about 50lbs and I wanted to try and maintain it for a while and maybe I could just be normal and healthy. Needless to say the weight started coming back with a vengeance. The pounds crept up so fast it seemed I was unable to stop it. While I still tried to go to the gym and avoid carbs during most of my meals, it was to no avail. I then stopped getting on the scale, I knew I was gaining weight because all of my smaller clothes were beginning to be too tight and then they just stopped fitting all together. While avoiding the scale was probably my biggest mistake throughout that whole process, I couldn't bring myself to look at it. I was so ashamed of myself and I started to with drawl from everything. I stopped going out as often as I was. I would go out sometimes out of obligation really, I truly didn't want to loose my friends, they all mean the world to me. I was so torn because I was ashamed and uncomfortable that all the people that had seen my weight loss would now be looking at me and discussing my new weight gain. This had happened to me before but somehow I could not get back on track. It progressively got worse and I felt myself pushing important people in my life away from me. I just wanted to come home and hide. I didn't take pictures, I rarely smiled and when I did, it was fake. I was hurt, ashamed and felt like I was at the end of the road with diets. I knew I was going to be this size forever. I never wanted to be weak enough to let my weight control my life, but I was. I disconnected with people that were important to me, I continued to be single, not willing to put myself out there. How could I expect anyone to love me when I didn't love myself? I started dressing more casually, not because I wanted to, after all that is not who I am, but because it was all that would fit and wouldn't show my rolls. I even stopped styling my hair in cute hairstyles. I knew I needed to change something and I know the closest people around me knew I needed a change but getting there was half the battle. My weight had now ballooned to the biggest I have ever been in my life. Ashamed didn't even describe how I felt. I truly felt disgusting. I woke up one day and I said this is NOT me. What happened to my beautiful smile? My passion for fashion? What happened to my friendships and relationships? What happened to who I was and who I am? Where is my life going? Will I ever find that true love that so many people have? Will I ever be NORMAL?

So began my journey with Weight Loss Forever to get Vertical Sleeve Surgery also known as VSG. I had been looking into weight loss surgery for about a year and had looked into the different types of surgery there are. I will admit that for a while I was in denial and never thought I would be one of those people that would get weight loss surgery. It seemed so evasive and major and I didn't think I needed that much help with my weight. Sure I looked at the before and after photos of some of the patients and couldn't believe what I was seeing. I absolutely wanted that to be me. For the people closest to me, they know I have truly never wanted anything more than to be NORMAL, healthy and active. I just wanted to be like everyone else. Be able to eat like everyone else and not gain weight so rapidly like I always did. I wanted someone to love me for me. I want to have a husband and a family of my own some day. It all seemed so far out of reach when I was at my lowest. It seemed impossible. Once I did all the necessary things to apply for VSG, I had to wait. The good thing I found that while I am overweight, I am actually quite healthy. I never had any medical problems other than being overweight. I was approved quite quickly for my surgery and I don't think I will ever forget that day that I got my approval. I felt an extreme amount of hope. Hope that my life was about to change and this time it would be a permanent change. Hope that I could finally be NORMAL. Be happy, be beautiful, be confident and love me. I started a 6-week pre-op diet and already after week 1 I had only lost 6.5lbs but I had my glow back, a little bit of my smile back. People were starting to notice I was happier and day to day it got better. I wanted to get up and pick out my clothes and put things together like I used to. I wanted to try out cute hairstyles again. My surgery date was set for April 16th and I was counting down the days until this would finally become a reality. I didn't have any nervous feelings because I was so ready to get back to who I know I'm meant to be. The day of my surgery everything went well and I had my dad right by my side the whole time. All of the wonderful people in my life who I had told about the surgery were there through emails, texts, face times and phone calls. I felt like I had so much support and I never realized how much support helps you if you just let those people in.

It has now been 3 weeks since my surgery and It has been an amazing experience so far! I can't wait until I am fully healed and I can start making clean recipes, and exercising regularly. I have lost a total of 41.5lbs since I started this journey on February 28th. I wanted to start this blog to share with everyone my journey. I plan on posting meal ideas, exercises I've tried, posts about fashion and just general inspiration. I want to update you on my progress and share pictures. I get alot of my inspiration from other people , whether its a book I've read or that really great song that just speaks to you on another level. Even if I just inspire a couple of people to go for their dreams whether its weight loss, school or a new job. I want to do that. I am here to listen to other peoples stories and meet some really great people along the way. This is only the beginning for me and I thank you for sharing this journey with me and reading my first official blog post! It's absolutely the biggest journey of my life and I will be forever grateful for my second chance at life!

Hugs & Glitter,

Chanty